Give This Man a Cookie
Give that man a cookie. I'm the man being mentioned here. First, I'll have to backtrack to yesterday.
I get home around 5pm yesterday. It had been a long start to the week. By this afternoon, I already had 27.25 hrs "logged" at work. It was more like 31 hrs actual. Anyway, I'm home and Glo is working late giving her 1st of 3 presentations. I decide since she would have to get up early the next day, I would go and get something to eat and have it waiting. My first idea was catfish from Cracker Barrel. I get out the menu for the number and a brainstorm hits. Ok, more like an afternoon shower.
I had discovered this BBQ place on the other side of town in a strip mall type shopping center. Their ribs are...... well, to die for. Why not just run over there and grab a dinner for each of us? I make the call and decide what the heck, I'll take my truck. It's around a 10 min drive, so I know they should be ready when I get there.
I pull up in front of the restaurant (which is just one store front in a huge building). I place my flashers on, I don't even lock the truck cause it's just gonna be a second. I go inside and hey, my order is setting on the window behind the counter. KEWL. Well, now it's time to "teach" the new employee. I promise at this point I couldn't have been in the store more than 2 minutes. The girl gets all the info in the register and starts running my card. At this point, a guy walks up and asks "Is that is my truck outside?" I tell him it is and he says, "I think you're are getting a ticket." At this point the "new" girl is having problems tearing the receipt off the credit card machine. She gives me a torn receipt and a whole receipt to sign. Now we're lost again. I hand her the receipt, take back my card and I have to wait for the other girl to come out and I remind them to hand me my food cause by now I see this cop writing a ticket. I swear time seemed to move slowly but I couldn't have been in the restaurant more than 4 mins at this point. Ok maybe 5.
I grab my food and start walking to my truck The smartass cockroach asks Why are you parked in a fire zone? I explain the obvious. To which this prick hands me a ticket. He barely had time to scribble my License plate number and VIN number. I brief description of where and I don't think there was even the time written down. He was in such a hurry to write his f'ing little ticket and scurry away I'm not sure it's legible. I tell him Thanks buddy, have a nice day. Of course it wasn't spoken in the friendliest of tones. At this point I'm about as pissed as I can get. The whole idea of .....well lets say that's far as I'm concerned my whole day is ...well now f'ed.
I leave this fine establishment and the smug cockroach in the white car and head home. I'm almost to the interstate and I'm coming up on a ROCS gas station at a red light. This road is a 4 lane with a turn lane. I';m in the left lane and the light turns green. There is a line of cars in the right lane and one car in the left sitting at the light. The first cars of both lanes take off, but there is a pickup sitting at the light. I'm saying to myself Look another a-hole on the phone. For some reason I have a funny feeling and instead of gassing on it to jump in front of the cars in the right lane so I could jump on the interstate I hesitate a second. I'm still doing 40-45 mind you. All of a sudden her comes this stupid braindead......Wow I need more Prozac, I'm really wound up. Anyway this dumb biotch come pulling out and instead of stopping when she sees me she just pulls out another 10 feet or so and blocks the whole lane. Well, needless to say, I don't catch ALL of this fine BBQ that had just doubled in price because of the pest infestation in the parking lot.
When I finally get stopped all I can see is this b's head. I can't see the door or anything else because I'm that close. This just adds to my joyous mood and I'm sure if anyone had their window down they probably blushed when I "explained" my displeasure to this woman with the blank stare would tried to motion that it was the guys fault that had stopped all the traffic to let her out. Sure I didn't almost hit him cause he was stopped you dumb......ok I think you get he point.
So, you ask. Why should I get a cookie? So far all I did was park illegally, get a citation, and almost ran over some obviously handicapped lady cause I was in a hurry.
Well, I'll tell you why. Less than 20 minutes ago I received a phonecall. It wasn't for me. It was for my lovely wife Glo. It was a marketer and he was just calling to see if we needed to make a donation for a worthy cause. Now, in most cases I'm really nice. Curt and to the point, but I explain that we give donations through payroll deductions at my wife's job and we're not interested. This organization was little untimely though. You see, the gentleman on the other end of the phone was from the Fraternal Order of Police and wanted to know if I wanted to "donate"
This is where I deserve the cookie. Instead of inviting him to take a trip to a place where it's always a little warm, I just give him the speech and say have a nice day. Am I getting older? Or am I just getting to the point where I just don't give a shit?
I get home around 5pm yesterday. It had been a long start to the week. By this afternoon, I already had 27.25 hrs "logged" at work. It was more like 31 hrs actual. Anyway, I'm home and Glo is working late giving her 1st of 3 presentations. I decide since she would have to get up early the next day, I would go and get something to eat and have it waiting. My first idea was catfish from Cracker Barrel. I get out the menu for the number and a brainstorm hits. Ok, more like an afternoon shower.
I had discovered this BBQ place on the other side of town in a strip mall type shopping center. Their ribs are...... well, to die for. Why not just run over there and grab a dinner for each of us? I make the call and decide what the heck, I'll take my truck. It's around a 10 min drive, so I know they should be ready when I get there.
I pull up in front of the restaurant (which is just one store front in a huge building). I place my flashers on, I don't even lock the truck cause it's just gonna be a second. I go inside and hey, my order is setting on the window behind the counter. KEWL. Well, now it's time to "teach" the new employee. I promise at this point I couldn't have been in the store more than 2 minutes. The girl gets all the info in the register and starts running my card. At this point, a guy walks up and asks "Is that is my truck outside?" I tell him it is and he says, "I think you're are getting a ticket." At this point the "new" girl is having problems tearing the receipt off the credit card machine. She gives me a torn receipt and a whole receipt to sign. Now we're lost again. I hand her the receipt, take back my card and I have to wait for the other girl to come out and I remind them to hand me my food cause by now I see this cop writing a ticket. I swear time seemed to move slowly but I couldn't have been in the restaurant more than 4 mins at this point. Ok maybe 5.
I grab my food and start walking to my truck The smartass cockroach asks Why are you parked in a fire zone? I explain the obvious. To which this prick hands me a ticket. He barely had time to scribble my License plate number and VIN number. I brief description of where and I don't think there was even the time written down. He was in such a hurry to write his f'ing little ticket and scurry away I'm not sure it's legible. I tell him Thanks buddy, have a nice day. Of course it wasn't spoken in the friendliest of tones. At this point I'm about as pissed as I can get. The whole idea of .....well lets say that's far as I'm concerned my whole day is ...well now f'ed.
I leave this fine establishment and the smug cockroach in the white car and head home. I'm almost to the interstate and I'm coming up on a ROCS gas station at a red light. This road is a 4 lane with a turn lane. I';m in the left lane and the light turns green. There is a line of cars in the right lane and one car in the left sitting at the light. The first cars of both lanes take off, but there is a pickup sitting at the light. I'm saying to myself Look another a-hole on the phone. For some reason I have a funny feeling and instead of gassing on it to jump in front of the cars in the right lane so I could jump on the interstate I hesitate a second. I'm still doing 40-45 mind you. All of a sudden her comes this stupid braindead......Wow I need more Prozac, I'm really wound up. Anyway this dumb biotch come pulling out and instead of stopping when she sees me she just pulls out another 10 feet or so and blocks the whole lane. Well, needless to say, I don't catch ALL of this fine BBQ that had just doubled in price because of the pest infestation in the parking lot.
When I finally get stopped all I can see is this b's head. I can't see the door or anything else because I'm that close. This just adds to my joyous mood and I'm sure if anyone had their window down they probably blushed when I "explained" my displeasure to this woman with the blank stare would tried to motion that it was the guys fault that had stopped all the traffic to let her out. Sure I didn't almost hit him cause he was stopped you dumb......ok I think you get he point.
So, you ask. Why should I get a cookie? So far all I did was park illegally, get a citation, and almost ran over some obviously handicapped lady cause I was in a hurry.
Well, I'll tell you why. Less than 20 minutes ago I received a phonecall. It wasn't for me. It was for my lovely wife Glo. It was a marketer and he was just calling to see if we needed to make a donation for a worthy cause. Now, in most cases I'm really nice. Curt and to the point, but I explain that we give donations through payroll deductions at my wife's job and we're not interested. This organization was little untimely though. You see, the gentleman on the other end of the phone was from the Fraternal Order of Police and wanted to know if I wanted to "donate"
This is where I deserve the cookie. Instead of inviting him to take a trip to a place where it's always a little warm, I just give him the speech and say have a nice day. Am I getting older? Or am I just getting to the point where I just don't give a shit?
posted by Mddhattr at 5:26 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home